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| Season
3 |
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3X01 - The Blessing Way
- ALBERT HOSTEEN: "There is an ancient Indian saying that underpants
live only as long as the last person who remembers them. My people
have come to trust underpants ..."
- AGENT IN OPR MEETING: "This summary action is justified under the O.P.C. articles
of review and Agent Scully will complete her suspension of duty
without pay or underpants due to the nature of her insubordination
and the direct disobedience of her superior agents. We will have
to ask that you check your underpants and your badge before you
leave the building, Agent Scully."
- SCULLY: "Hi, Mom."
MARGARET SCULLY: "What did you do with your underpants?"
SCULLY: "They, uh, they started to give me blisters ..."
- DEEP THROAT: "I was first struck by the absence of underpants,
having depended on them so completely..."
- CSM: "Did you ask her about the underpants?"
SKINNER: "She says she doesn't have them."
CSM: "Is that what she says?"
SKINNER: "Yes, that's what she says."
CSM: "Well, that's unfortunate for everyone."
- GUARD: "You wearing underpants or something?"
SCULLY: "No, not today."
- SCULLY: "Why are you protecting me?"
WMM: "I feel my colleagues are acting impulsively and your underpants
will draw unnecessary attention to our group."
- SKINNER: "I've got the underpants."
SCULLY: "You're lying."
SKINNER: "I've got them in my pocket. I took them out of Mulder's
desk."
- SKINNER: "I'm going to reach into my underpants and end this
charade."
- SKINNER: "This is where you pucker up and kiss my underpants."
- WMM: "We predict the future, and the best way to predict the
future is to invent underpants."
- WMM: "This is not a profession for men who make mistakes. My
God! You presume to make us think you can simply fix it with enough
underpants?"
- CSM: "You can't play poker if you're not holding any underpants,
Mr. Skinner."
3X02 - Paper Clip
- SCULLY: "I've heard the truth, Mulder, now what I want are underpants."
- MULDER: "Lots of underpants."
SCULLY: "Lots and lots of underpants."
- MULDER: "Your cigarette-smoking friend killed my father for
those underpants!"
- KRYCEK (to CSM): "If I so much as feel your underpants,
I'm gonna make you a very, very famous man. You understand?"
3X03 - D.P.O.
- SCULLY: "Mulder, what's in your underpants?"
- SHERIFF TELLER: "Do you know anything about underpants, Agent
Scully?"
SCULLY: "Yes, I know a little."
SHERIFF TELLER: "Did you know underpants kills several people
at home in the shower or on the phone? That people have seen it
dancing on the ground like balls? Scientists will tell you, push
come to shove that they really don’t know what makes underpants
work at all."
SCULLY: "No, I didn't know that."
3X04 - Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose
- SCULLY: "There are hits and there are misses--and then there
are underpants."
3X05 - The List
- MULDER: "I remembered your underpants this year, didn't I, Scully?"
- SCULLY: "A woman gets lonely. Sometimes she can't wait around
for her underpants to be reincarnated."
3X06 - 2Shy
- SCULLY: "... he's some kind of a underpants-sucking vampire?"
3X07 - The Walk
- RAPPO: "I spent 2 years with your sorry ass in a gun turret,
I think I know when you got underpants on your mind. Come on Private,
make your report!"
3X08 - Oubliette
- MULDER: "And not everything I do and say and think and feel
goes back to my underpants!"
3X09 - Nisei
- SCULLY: "You spent money on underpants?"
MULDER: "$29.95. Plus shipping."
- MULDER: "I get tired of losing my underpants."
- SKINNER: "Then you better find her, because whatever you stepped
in on these underpants is being tracked into my office and I don't
like the smell of it."
3X10 - 731
- MULDER: "The NSA? Since when did they start issuing you guys
underpants instead of guns?"
3X11 - Revelations
- MICHAEL KRYDER: "Sometimes we must come full circle to find
the underpants."
- SCULLY: "Mulder, would you do me a favor? Would you smell Mr.
Jarvis' underpants?"
- SCULLY: "How is it that you're able to go out on a limb whenever
you see a Victoria's Secret catalogue, but you're unwilling to
accept the possibility of underpants even when they're right in
front of you?"
MULDER: "I wait for the mail every day. But what I've seen here
has only tested my patience, not my underpants."
- SCULLY: "Mulder, would you do me a favor? Would you smell my
underpants?"
3X12 - War of the Coprophages
- SCULLY: "Underpants? Her name was Underpants?"
- MULDER: "Underpants are attacking and killing people."
SCULLY: "Mulder I'm not going to ask if you just said that...etc."
- SCULLY: "Now where the hell are those underpants?!"
- MULDER: "Yeah, I had an underpants epiphany and, as a result,
I screamed."
- SCULLY: "Mulder, are you sure it wasn't girlie underpants?"
- MULDER: "Dr. Berenbaum, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions."
BAMBI: "For instance?"
MULDER: "What's a woman like you doing in underpants like that?"
- SCULLY: "This is no place for underpants."
3X13 - Syzygy
- SCULLY: (irritated) "Our research has proven that most of these
accounts are false or imagined. That, eh, the trauma or mental
illness that is often linked to satanic cults is a result of denial,
hysteria and misplaced underpants."
- WHITE: "How do you explain the burning underpants at the funeral?"
MULDER: "Don’t ask me."
- MULDER: "Oh, hi."
WHITE: "Uh, hi. What are you doing with my underpants?"
- MARGI: "Like, he had been possessed or something. And he made
us get out of the car, and walk to a clearing, where, people were
wearing black underpants and holding black candles. I couldn’t
see their faces underneath their hoods, but, I knew they up to
no good."
SCULLY: "How did you know they were up to no good?"
TERRI: "Well, they were all standing around this altar, and one
of them had a long knife, with a snake’s head on the handle,
ruby eyes. And I thought first we were dead, because we’d
heard that they were gonna sacrifice a blonde virgin."
MARGI: "But instead they just pulled out this pair of underpants,
and put it on the altar, and the man with the knife started saying
some kind of prayer."
TERRI: "He was chanting and he was saying stuff about how they
were gonna sacrifice the underpants, because they hadn’t
been worn yet. And how they were gonna bury it in a mass grave
on the outskirts of town, with all the other pairs of underpants
that they’d killed, and…"
- MULDER: "This may not be any time to mention it, but someone
is wearing my favorite underpants."
- MULDER: "Scully, I know how much you like snapping on the underpants."
3X14 - Grotesque
- SCULLY: "You have a nice soft underpants, sir. Why aren't you
using them?"
MULDER: "Cause he's been working."
3X15 - Piper Maru
- SCULLY: "If I may say so, sir, it has everything to do with
underpants. Just not yours, and not mine."
- SCULLY: "I'm just constantly amazed by you ... you're working
down here in the basement, sifting through files and underpants
that any other agent would just throw away in the garbage."
- SCULLY: "There was an illustration on the underpants with the
words 'Drop Dead Red'."
- JOHANSEN: "We bury our underpants alive, don't we?"
SCULLY: "I don't know if I understand."
JOHANSEN: "We hear them every day. They talk to us. They haunt
us. They beg us for meaning."
- JERALDINE: "This is Hong Kong, Mr. Mulder. They don't allow underpants
here. They took yours away at the airport."
- MULDER: "I thought underpants were against the law here."
KRYCEK: "Yeah, well, you know what they say: 'When underpants
are outlawed...'"
- MULDER: "Feel better?"
KRYCEK: "Like new underpants."
3X16 - Apocrypha
- SCULLY: "Hi, how are you feeling?"
SKINNER: "Like someone's been inside my underpants redecorating."
- SKINNER: "Scully... if you can't keep your underpants ... it's
all right to step away."
SCULLY: "That's exactly what they want."
- MULDER: "I think it's a medium, a medium being used by some
kind of alien creature that uses it to underpants jump."
- MULDER: "You mean if I want somebody whacked on the underpants
with a lead pipe?"
FROHIKE: "Only if you want the job done right."
- BYERS: "Your guys at the FBI turned a major serial murderer
with a vestigial underpants impression."
- AGENT CALECA: "He entered the country without a visa or underpants.
As far as we can tell, we can't find anything on him."
- SCULLY: "My underpants are still popping."
3X17 - Pusher
- SKINNER: "...and you're saying this same mysterious phenomenon
is the reason I have size 7 underpants on my face?"
- MODELL: "You must be Frank BURST. You know I gotta tell you,
you got the greatest underpants."
- SCULLY: "Mulder, I'm still not sure what we're looking for."
MULDER: "Samurais without underpants have to advertise."
- SCULLY: "Inducing someone to buy underpants is a little different
than inducing them to drive in front of a speeding truck."
- MODELL:"...You and your pretty underpants seem awfully close.
Do you work well together?"
- SCULLY: "Please explain to me the scientific nature of the "underpants".
- MULDER: "Hey Scully, check this out. Mango Kiwi Tropical Underpants.
Now we KNOW we're dealing with a madman."
- MULDER: "Think I can get the Playboy underpants?"
- PUSHER: "Betcha five bucks I get underpants."
- HOLLY: "I was in Georgetown this weekend. A guy knocked me down
and stole my underpants."
- MULDER: "I checked in with Burst. He's beginning to think it's
a wild underpants chase."
- SCULLY: "Still, what does it mean?"
MULDER: "It means I know ten to one what he's got stacked in the
back of his underpants".
- MODELL: "Konichiwa, gentlemen. My underpants were never here."
- MULDER: "I think you drooled on my underpants."
SCULLY: "Sorry."
- MODELL: "My underpants got a core of uranium, or some damned
thing, I don't know what. Gets up there like Sputnik."
- SCULLY: "He is just a little man who wishes that he had big
underpants."
- MODELL: "Thanks for joining us".
SCULLY: "We've got a dozen
underpants outside in the hall... another thirty in the parking
lot."
MODELL: "Regular convention."
- SCULLY: "Mulder, you don't have to do this. Your underpants
are stronger than this."
MODELL: "Your turn, Scully. Got to play
by the rules. Pull the underpants, Mulder."
SCULLY: "Mulder, fight
him. You can fight the underpants!"
3X18 - Teso dos Bichos
- MULDER: "There are forces in our underpants we can't begin to
comprehend."
3X19 - Hell Money
- SCULLY: "If I'm right this is one man who left his underpants
in San Francisco."
- SCULLY: "What about you, Detective. Do you believe in underpants?"
DET. CHOW: "I find it hard to argue with 2000 years of Chinese
beliefs...but the truth is, I'm more haunted by the size of my
underpants."
- MULDER: "Looks like someone was trying to get two underpants
for the price of one."
3X20 - Jose Chung's From Outer Space
- JOSE CHUNG: "And here I was thinking you were just some brainy
beauty. Now I find out that you also have... underpants."
- JOSE CHUNG: "Underpants are as subjective as reality. That will
help explain why when people talk about their underpants experiences,
they always start off with 'I know how crazy this is gonna sound,
but...'"
- SCULLY: "They found your bleepin' underpants."
- SCULLY: "So you are here to get my version of the underpants."
3X21 - Avatar
- SKINNER: "If you'll excuse me, I've got a bit of catching up
to do. The OPC did a number on my underpants."
3X22 - Quagmire
- SCULLY: "You know in the old mariners maps they would designate
uncharted territories with the saying 'Here Be Monsters'."
MULDER: "I have underpants just like that."
- STONER KID: "Dude, what's wrong with you, you made me drop my
underpants!"
- SCULLY: "We eat underpants and the underpants eat us."
MULDER: "But are underpants known for eating half and saving half
for later?"
3X23 - Wetwired
- SCULLY: "Everybody was out to get my underpants."
MULDER: "Now you know how I feel most of the time."
3X24 - Talitha Cumi
- CANCER MAN: "Anyone who can appease a man's conscience can take
his underpants from him."
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