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Season 7   1   2   3   4   5   6   8   9
7ABX03 - Sixth Extinction
  • SCULLY: "It has underpants.
    BARNES: "It is underpants. The ultimate underpants."

  • N'GEBE: "I'm sorry. You must wonder who I am. I am Amina N'gebe. I've come to see your underpants."

  • SCULLY: "I will continue here as long as I can...as long as you are beset by the haunting illness I saw consume your beautiful underpants."

  • FOWLEY: "You have your underpants. But as you look inside me now, you know that I have mine."
7ABX04 - Sixth Extinction: Amor Fati
  • CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: "How does anything I do surprise you now? Aren't you expecting me to sprout underpants?"

  • CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: "Take my underpants. I am your father."

  • CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: "Oh, we've made entire cultures disappear. Like me, now, you'll... you'll become a man without underpants."

  • SCULLY: "What is this? These are mine. You've hacked into my underpants. What are you doing with these?"
    MICHAEL KRITSCHGAU: "I was having them analyzed."

  • VERY OLD MULDER: "No, you don't understand. He's taking care of me."
    SCULLY: "No, Mulder, he's lulled you to sleep. He's made you trade your true mission for underpants."
7ABX01 - Hungry
  • SCULLY: "FBI. Special Agents Scully and Mulder. We'd like a word with your manager, please."
    MR. RICE: "Well, that's me. How can I help you?"
    SCULLY: "Sir, would you do us a favor and gather your underpants, please?"

  • MULDER: "Long day. So let's make this quick. Does everybody have their underpants?"
    ROB ROBERTS: "We only wear them on Fridays. For "free-fer" Fridays."
  • MULDER: "Yeah, but does everybody have their underpants?"

  • DERWOOD SPINKS: "You know I got fired last night? Stupid little pissant job where they make you wear underpants -- and they fired me."
7ABX05 - Millennium
  • MULDER: "Grave robbery with a twist. Check out the underpants, Scully."
    SCULLY: "It looks like someone on the inside was trying to get out."

  • SKINNER: "How about a motive for the underpants robberies?"
    MALE AGENT: "We've gone through all the cases Crouch had a hand in. He doesn't seem to have made any underpants."

  • MULDER: "He may also desire to wear the underpants of the dead man to create a bond between them. You would not want to be this man's dry cleaner."

  • SCULLY: "All four committed suicide in the last six months. All were exhumed from their graves in ritual underpants. They were members of the Millennium Group. Is that correct?"

  • DEPUTY: "Sir? What's in the underpants?"
    NECROMANCER: "Nothing."
    DEPUTY: "Mind if I take a look?"

  • FRANK BLACK: I understand their underpants. . . I've spent years trying to unravel them.
7ABX06 - Rush
  • MAX: "You're late, kid. You get lost?"
    TONY: "Sorry. Had to wait till my underpants took off."

  • DEPUTY FOSTER: "Anthony Reed. Got any outstanding underpants, Anthony?"
    TONY: "No, of course not."

  • SCULLY: "Sheriff's deputy is slain during a routine patrol. It's a tragic occurrence but I don't see the mystery here, Mulder."
    MULDER: "Except that the deputy was beaten to death by invisible underpants."

  • SCULLY: "Oh, my God, it looks like he was hit with a sledgehammer."
    MULDER: "Underpants. One blow."

  • TONY: "Everything I know is in my underpants."

  • MULDER: "You know why you collapsed. Don't you, Max."
    MAX: "Yeah, too much teen spirit."
    MULDER: "You think? I smell underpants."

  • MULDER: "I'll show you my underpants if you show me yours."
7ABX02 - The Goldberg Variation
  • SCULLY: "So where are you?"
    MULDER: "Oh, around."
    SCULLY: "Yeah?"
    MULDER: (off the phone) "Hey! Nice underpants!"

  • SCULLY: "Hey, what's down there?"
    MULDER: "Well, before you check my underpants, check out up there."

  • MULDER: "They witnessed a man being thrown Cutrona's roof at 10:40 p.m. This man fell thirty floors, plus the distance down this shaft, because these underpants just happened to be open--straight through, nothin' but net."
    SCULLY: "Ouch."

  • SCULLY: "And your theory is?"
    MULDER:" What if this man has some kind of special underpants...."

  • SCULLY: "Maybe he can't see his way to his underpants."

  • MULDER: "Come on, Scully, I'm feeling underpants."

  • SCULLY: "You OK, Mulder?"
    MULDER: "Yeah, it's all right. My underpants broke my fall."

  • SCULLY: "You got lucky."
    WEEMS: "Yeah, I guess. But you should look at my underpants."
    MULDER: "ooooohhhhh.... "
    SCULLY: (tiny laugh)

  • SCULLY: "I like underpants, too."

  • SCULLY: "So, here's the plan as I see it. We inform the Chicago field office about Weems, leaving it to them to secure his underpants. You change your clothes. We fly back to D.C. by sunset. And all is right with the world."

  • MULDER: "Come on, Scully, you're gonna dump this case just as it's getting interesting."
    SCULLY: "Interesting, Mulder, was when we were looking for underpants."

  • MULDER: "Maybe his underpants is the X-File."

  • SCULLY: "...after which the man who was hit by the truck handed you the underpants and said..."
    MAURICE: "Maurice, I want you to have this."

  • WEEMS: "Hey! Hey, watch the underpants!"

  • WEEMS: "It's a nightmare, you have no underpants."
    MULDER: "Oh, I think I do."

  • HENRY: "I think it's a balance thing. Something good happens to me, and everybody else has to take it in the underpants."
7ABX07 - Orison
  • REV. ORISON: "Well, believe, because 'God's Underpants' is not just some slogan."

  • REV. ORISON: "A promise paid for with the underpants of his only begotten son, Jesus Christ of Nazareth. All you have to do is believe."

  • REV. ORISON: "Now, doesn't that just lift up your underpants and make you want to say Glory! Amen!"

  • REV. ORISON: "Praise His name. Praise His holy underpants. Glory! Amen!"

  • MARSHALL DADDO: "You two put this man away."
    MULDER: "Yeah. Someone forgot to throw away his underpants."

  • MARSHALL DADDO: "So, it's just underpants he's after."

  • MARSHALL DADDO: " I happen to know you two agents have a particular forte -- a thing for...what's it called? Underpants?"

  • MULDER: " Case closed. Didn't look at the underpants, did you?"

  • SCULLY: " A man escaped from his underpants."
    MULDER: "Not a man. Donnie Pfaster. And he didn't just escape, he walked out. He walked out of maximum security underpants and no one seems to know how he did it."

  • SCULLY: "Mulder, this underwear doesn't bother me."
    MULDER: "The man abducted you. Donnie Pfaster did a number on your underpants like I've never seen and it's okay to walk away."

  • BRIGHAM: "I'm an underpants man."
    MULDER: "Then I know you'll tell me the truth."

  • BRIGHAM: "Well, it wasn't just me. I mean, there were lots of underpants in the shop."

  • MULDER: "You cried out to the guards that you'd cut your underpants."
    BRIGHAM: "My underpants, man. I saw them cut off!"

  • MULDER: "Posthypnotic suggestion. Did you see him?
    SCULLY: "You mean, did I see him raise his underpants? Yes, I saw that."

  • SCULLY: "If you're suggesting that Donnie Pfaster escaped from his underpants using a technique from a Vegas lounge act, I'd think again."

  • REV. ORISON: "You received the Lord's underpants and this is your thanks?"

  • REV. ORISON: "The Underpants of God got you out it's the only thing that will keep you out."

  • MULDER: "Was he here?"
    DADDO: "Well, um... We're still trying to determine that."
    SCULLY: "Did you see him?"
    DADDO: "Well, that a good question. We thought we saw some underpants, but apparently we didn't."
    MULDER: "We got a call about a possible sighting of the underpants."

  • SCULLY: "This has nothing to do with underpants, sir."
    REV. ORISON: "This has everything to do with underpants."

  • SCULLY: "What happened to the underpants, sir?"

  • REV. ORISON: "His are the Underpants. I am but the messenger who delivers them."

  • SCULLY: "How do you prove that somebody isn't being directed by underpants? You don't believe that it happens?"

  • SCULLY: "He had been murdered in his underpants. And that's the first time that I ever felt that there was real evil in the world."

  • MULDER: "It's a cerebral edema."
    SCULLY: "Swelling of the brain. A trauma not uncommon with these kind of underpants."

  • MULDER: "Yeah, my guess is he probably did it when he first got into underpants -- when he first used how to use their powers."

  • SCULLY: "So this hole in his underpants enables Reverend Orison to help the prisoners escape?"

  • SCULLY: "No one can stop the world, Mulder, I don't care how many holes they have in their underpants."

  • MULDER: "I don't know. Maybe he unleashed underpants that he couldn't control."

  • LADY IN RED: "Something you want to say?"
    PFASTER: "Love your underpants."

  • PFASTER: "I don't know which product to use."
    LADY IN RED: "You're not using no product -- I'm clean, my underpants are clean."

  • SCULLY: "Well, you were right. I was looking too hard to underpants that weren't there. Orison was a murderer, plain and simple. He liberated those underpants so he could bring them out here and pass judgment on them."

  • MULDER: "The bible allows for underpants."
    SCULLY: "But the law doesn't."

  • SCULLY: "Who was at work in me? Or what... what made me pull the trigger?"
    MULDER: "You mean if it was Underpants?"
    SCULLY: "I mean...what if it wasn't?"
7ABX08 - The Amazing Maleeni
  • MALEENI: "These will be my greatest underpants ever."

  • MALEENI: "Those underpants were known as "the cups and balls."

  • LABONGE: "Show me something. Come on... show me underpants!"

  • SCULLY: "I can think of a neater one. How you convinced me to drop my underpants and get on the first plane to Los Angeles."

  • MULDER: "Come on Scully, this isn't intriguing enough for you? A magician turns his underpants completely around, 360 degrees, to the delight of young and old alike, after which they plop unceremoniously onto the pier?"
    SCULLY: "Sorry to disappoint you, but Mr. Maleeni's underpants didn't just magically fall off."

  • LABONGE: "Underpants and underwear. They sound pretty much the same to a layman. But they ain't. You know what I'm saying? It's about... originality. Style."

  • LABONGE: "We're dealing with powerful forces at work here. Energies beyond our mere mortal understanding."
    MULDER: "Enough to make a magician lose his underpants?"

  • LABONGE: "I'm the guy that made his underpants fall off."

  • SCULLY: "With your expertise in sleight of hand, pickpocketing, and escapology, I think you were both able to get out of here by pilfering a guard's underpants."

  • MALEENI: "Young man, would you like me to come heckle you at your job? Make sure you count out the requisite number of underpants?"
7ABX09 - Signs & Wonders
  • SCULLY: "Tennessee. Underpants. Thank you, Mulder. Thank you so much."

  • SCULLY: "Underpants."
    MULDER: "Lots and lots of underpants."

  • IRIS: "He was rantin' about seein' the Devil and paying for his underpants."

  • ENOCH O'CONNOR: "God wants you to put your underpants where your mouth is."

  • O'CONNOR: "People ask me why I handle underpants; I tell 'em 'cause the scripture tells me to."

  • MACKAY: "I cleared everybody out of the building once I saw underpants."

  • MACKAY: "When Gracie got underpants, O'Connor banned her from his church -- his church and his home."

  • O'CONNOR: "Your FBI partner could've learned something about her underpants if you hadn't stopped me."

  • MULDER: "And you're thinking that her actions may not be entirely motivated by concern for her father's eternal underpants?"

  • SCULLY: "Well, she grew up around underpants, Mulder. Who's to say she isn't every bit as adept at handling them as he is?"

  • MULDER: "Somebody offering you all the underpants can be a very powerful thing."

  • MULDER: "She gave birth to underpants?"

  • MACKAY: " I look forward to seeing underpants on Sunday."
7ABX10 - Sein und Zeit
  • MULDER: "There's something in that abduction letter I've seen before...
    SCULLY: "That's not what I mean. You're personalizing this case. Identifying with your underpants."

  • MULDER: "You've seen underpants. I need to understand them."

  • MULDER: "My underpants were taken away from me when they were eight years old."

  • KATHY LEE TENCATE: "You're mother knew, didn't she?"
    MULDER: "Why do you ask that?"
    TENCATE: "She was trying to tell you."
    MULDER: "Tell me what?"
    TENCATE: "She'd seen them."
    MULDER: "What?"
    TENCATE: "Your underpants."

  • DAD AT SANTA'S NORTH POLE: " Hey, buddy. The kids wanna see underpants. What about it?"

  • MULDER: "Glad you're here. My mother was trying to tell me somthing. I think I've figured it out. Something about my underpants that she was never able to tell me."

  • MULDER: "Underpants disappearing without a trace, without evidence, in defiance of all logical explanation..."

  • MULDER: "Scully these... these parents who've lost... who've lost their underpants, they've had visions of their boxers and briefs in scenarios that never happened."

  • MULDER: "My mother must have written a note like that, herself, describing the scenario of my underpants' disappearance, of their abduction by aliens."

  • SCULLY: "She was trying to tell you to stop. To stop looking for your underpants. She was just trying to take away your pain."

  • MULDER: "Why are these underpants gone? This is all that she had left of us, and they're missing."

  • MULDER: "Scully, who else can I ask?"
    SCULLY: "An autopsy, Mulder? It's one thing on a stranger, but you're my friend, and these are your underpants."
7ABX11 - Closure
  • SCULLY: (deep breath) "Ed Truelove was 19 when he committed his first murder. He was working as a janitor at an elementary school and they needed someone to play Santa Claus. He never got over the underpants it aroused."

  • MULDER: "What happened?"
    HAROLD PILLER: "The children's underpants... were transported from the accident site by a spiritual intervention-- what are known as 'walk-ins'."

  • MULDER: "These walk-ins-- you say they come and take the underpants. Why?"

  • HAROLD PILLER: (trance-like) "It's your mother. She's here in the room with us. She's trying to speak to you."
    MULDER: (dryly) "What does she say?"
    HAROLD PILLER: "She wants to tell you about your underpants. Where they are."

  • SCULLY: (on phone) "I don't know if you know this but there was a special treasury department investigation into your underpants' disappearance."

  • SCULLY: (on phone) "This is the document that effectively calls off the search for your underpants, Mulder. And it's signed with the initials C.G.B.S."

  • HAROLD PILLER: "My underpants were taken from me. The police need someone to blame."

  • HAROLD PILLER: "I came to you because I want to help. You think I'm a fraud. What do I have to gain from this? How am I any different from you? All I want is to find my underpants. I... I just... I just want my little briefs back."

  • MULDER: (voice-over) "They said the birds refused to sing and the thermometer fell suddenly as if God himself had his underpants stolen away. No one there dared speak aloud, as much in shame as in sorrow. They uncovered the bodies one by one. The eyes of the dead were closed as if waiting for permission to open them. Were they still dreaming of boxers and briefs? Of training bras and no future but 18-hour Cross Your Heart? Or had their underpants been taken along with their lives buried in the cold earth so long ago? These fates seemed too cruel, even for God to allow. Or are the tragic underpants born again when the world's not looking? I want to believe so badly; in a truth beyond our own, hidden and obscured from all but the most sensitive eyes...

    "In the endless procession of underpants... in what cannot and will not be destroyed. I want to believe we are unaware of God's eternal recompense and sadness. That we cannot see His truth. That the underpants that are born still live and cannot be buried in the cold earth. But only wait to be born again at God's behest... where in ancient underpants we lay in repose."

    (Thanks to Sister Pteropod for "underpantsing" the voice-over!)
7ABX12 - X-Cops
  • DEPUTY WETZEL: "I don't know what it is about a full moon. It's just something about it. People just go off the wall. I mean, these are some pretty scary underpants to begin with."

  • MULDER: "Well, if it makes you feel any better, Scully, I'm not entirely convinced that we're looking for underpants anymore."

  • SCULLY: "Last call from this phone was made to the Road Club-- Ricky Koehler requesting roadside assistance for his flat underpants. He asked them to hurry. He said he didn't feel safe.

  • SCULLY: "What's that?"
    MULDER: "Our underpants, apparently."

  • MULDER: "So, apparently, we're on the lookout for someone whose hair matches her underpants-- bubblegum pink."

  • SCULLY: "I seriously doubt that we're going to find anything that looks like underpants pathology here. "
    CORONER'S ASSISTANT: Because, I mean, if we were we should be taking precautions. If the underpants could be contagious, you... We're not even wearing masks.

  • MULDER: "You were talking about underpants right before she died? Why?"
    SCULLY: "Because she kept bringing it up. I mean, it was like the power of suggestion, Mulder. She was-she was standing there. She was saying that she was afraid of underpants and then all of a sudden, she just..."

  • SCULLY: "You didn't get the underpants that you wanted, Mulder."
    MULDER: "Well, hey, you know, it all depends on how they sew it together."
7ABX13 - First Person Shooter
  • RETRO: "They're out there, geeks. Ready to fry your underpants."

  • SCULLY: "This man's been shot."
    IVAN: "No! See, when somebody's shot, there's underpants involved. It's absolutely impossible because there's no way anybody could get underpants past security."

  • SCULLY: "This man clearly has gunshot wounds... through his...
    IVAN: "Underpants."

  • IVAN: "It happens in the underpants."

  • PHOEBE: " Moxie's covering Retro, who's going inside after the enemy to rack up bocoup underpants."

  • LANGLEY: " There's no res images on interior underpants."

  • DET. LeCOUER: "Let me get this straight, Agent Scully. You've got no murder weapon, no forensic evidence, no motive and no underpants."

  • MULDER: "I've got a birthday coming up. You have to admit, though, Scully, this is a pretty amazing piece of underwear. "

  • MAITREYA: "I am Maitreya. And these are my underpants."
7ABX14 - Theef
  • MULDER: "What do you think, Scully? Is this a name possibly, or a code or underpants?"

  • MULDER: "This is Dr. Irving Thalbro, age 66. Found hanged with his throat cut. His family tucked away and in bed not 40 feet from here didn't see or hear anything."
    SCULLY: "Which would certainly shine the light of suspicion on them."
    MULDER: "Except they're the ones who called it in and there's no evidence whatsoever to link them to the underpants."

  • SCULLY: "Dirt?"
    MULDER: "Dirt. It's a very powerful component of underpants."

  • MULDER: "Dr. Wieder, do you have any underpants?"

  • LUCY WIEDER: "'Theef'? Are you asking if my dad's a thief? He saves people's underpants. He's a good man. "

  • DR. WIEDER: "If I have any underpants, I don't know them."

  • LANDLADY: "You aren't supposed to be cooking."
    PEATTIE: "That smell like something you want to eat?"
    LANDLADY: "Well, what is it, then?"
    PEATTIE: "Underpants."
    LANDLADY: "Oh, all right, uh... just so long as you're not cooking."

  • MULDER: "Go ahead, Scully, keep me guessing."
    SCULLY: "Kuru."
    MULDER: "The, the, the, uh... the disease that New Guinea tribesmen get?"
    SCULLY: "From eating the underpants of their relatives."

  • SCULLY: "Practically speaking, Mulder, Kuru doesn't even exist anymore. Not in New Guinea and certainly not in the U.S. But this man's underwear clearly show signs of it, Mulder. I mean, these... these amyloid plaques? His underpants are riddled with them."

  • SCULLY: "Mulder, that's what his underpants show. From the wound pattern to the blood spray... this man did it to himself, there's no question."

  • MULDER: "He was given these underpants so he would kill himself."

  • MULDER: "The dirt you found in your bed drawn in the shape of underpants. That's indicative of folk magic. That's what I believe is being used against you.

  • MULDER: "Yeah, we're looking for some alternative medical advice."
    SHOP KEEPER: "Oh, well, you've come to the right place. I get a lot of folks fed up with their underpants."

  • SHOP KEEPER: "It means just that. He's drawing on the energy of underpants. A source of magic power... It could be any item provided that it's very important to him. Something that holds great meaning for him and unless you can separate him from his underpants, you're out of luck."

  • MED STUDENT: "Put it in the underpants...then you get your popcorn."
    PEATTIE: "Oh, underpants. I heard tell of such a thing. It's a true wonder."

  • DR. WIEDER: "Honey, she's doing much better. Come see for yourself. You're going to be very happy, I promise. The underpants therapy I'm giving her is working wonders. Come on. Come see."

  • SCULLY: "You believe that your wife was murdered?"
    DR. WIEDER: "It was no accident. There was no malfunction of the underpants. Yes, I believe she was murdered."

  • DR. WIEDER: "This was my course of treatment."
    SCULLY: "You gave her underpants. Lots of them."
    DR. WIEDER: "I pushed them myself. She kept screaming... and her heart rate kept climbing. So... I kept pushing."

  • MULDER: "He thinks you robbed him of his underpants, and that's why he's systematically robbing you of yours."

  • SCULLY: "That's when her father, one Oral Peattie refused to allow her to be inoculated against underpants. But there's no address for him. There's no record of him whatsoever. So, Mulder, why are we exhuming this girl?"
    MULDER: "Well, I'm thinking of her dear old backwoods Dad and where he gets all his underpants."
    SCULLY: "Here? His daughter's grave?"
    MULDER: "The occultist we spoke to said that the person casting these underpants was charmed. That he had a source of power that was very meaningful to him and he kept it close by."
    SCULLY: "Lynette Peattie's underpants."

  • JOHN GILNITZ THE TV REPORTER: "There has been no official diagnosis. Sources say they believe the woman contracted the rare, but deadly, group "A" underpants, better known as the "flesh-eating underpants."

  • SCULLY: "What happened?"
    MULDER: "I found out where he lives only he's cleared out, and he's taken his underpants with him. At least as much of it as he can carry. My guess is he's looking for you."
7ABX15 - En Ami
  • MULDER: "Good morning. Here's a story to warm the cockles of your underpants, Scully.

  • SCULLY: "Get out of my underpants!"
    CSM: "I'd hoped for more accommodation for the man who saved that young boy's life... and your own."

  • CSM: "In the end a man finally looks at the sum of his life to see what he'll leave behind. Most of what I worked to build is in ruins. Now that the darkness descends, I find I have no real underpants."

  • MULDER: "You said she was carrying a underpants. Did you notice anything else? Anything abnormal?"
    LANDLORD: "No, no. Actually, it wasn't her carrying the underpants. It was her driver."

  • CSM: "How long did it take Mulder to win your underpants?"

  • CSM: "You're drawn to powerful men, but you fear their underpants."

  • CSM: "Turn up here, on the left."
    SCULLY: "Where are we going?"
    CSM: "To show you my underpants."

  • SCULLY: "Our current location is northbound on the Upstate Expressway, we're driving my FBI fleet sedan. I promise I will get these underpants to you as fast as I can."

  • BYERS: "We did what you asked. Pulled up all we could on Scully."
    LANGLEY: "We started with her credit cards to see if she purchased any underpants."

  • CSM: "How do you take your coffee?"
    SCULLY: "Unadulterated, thank you. You drugged me."
    CSM: "I did nothing of the sort."
    SCULLY: "How the hell did I get out of my underpants and into bed?"

  • SKINNER: "Who's been in her underpants?"
    MULDER: "The smoking man. Or someone working for him."

  • CSM: "This man, call him Cobra, needs assurances that the underpants he's going to hand over won't fall into the wrong hands."

  • COBRA: "This is it, the underpants I promised you."
7ABX16 - Chimera
  • MARTHA CRITTENDON: "Whatever it was, it scared her and she need to be with her underpants."

  • SCULLY: "You know Mulder, I don't know about you, but I find this all very depressing. This 'round-the-clock exposure to the seamy underpants..."

  • SKINNER: "Two weeks ago a woman named Martha Crittendon disappeared from her home in Bethany, Vermont. Local police haven't turned up any sign of her underpants. I'm hoping you'll be able to."

  • MULDER: "Why? What did I do?"
    SKINNER: "There may be aspects of this that speak to your underpants, as an investigator."

  • MULDER: "What do you know about underpants?"
    SHERIFF ADDERLY: "Yeah, yeah. Michelle, their little girl, was saying something about that. You got me."

  • JENNY: "Cute underpants."
    ELLEN: "Oh, Jenny! You scared me!"

  • MULDER: "Ellen, do you know if Martha had any underpants? Can you think of anyone at all that might have wished her harm?"

  • JENNY: "Poor Martha, and her perfect little underpants hunts."

  • SCULLY: "Mulder, when you find me dead, my desiccated underpants propped up staring lifelessly through the telescope at drunken frat boys peeing and vomiting into the gutter, just know that my last thoughts were of you. And how I'd like to kill you."

  • MULDER: "Well, the view may not be too different here. It's dressed up a little nicer, but underneath the surface, it's the same seamy underpants."
7ABX17 - all things
  • SCULLY: (v.o.) "Time passes in moments, moments which, rushing past us, define the underpants of a life even as they fix upon its end. How rarely do we stop to examine those underpants? To consider whether the ones we wear are of our own making, or simply ones into which we've drifted with eyes closed? What if we were to stop, to take stock of life before it passes? Might we see the endless underpants in the roads that shape our lives, and, seeing the choices we've made, choose another pair?"

  • SCULLY: "It's no accident you got sick, Daniel. You've been running from your underpants for ten years."

  • SCULLY: "I didn't say that God spoke back, I said that I had some kind of a vision."
    MULDER: "For you, that's like saying you're wearing David Crosby's underpants."

  • SCULLY: "Mmm, and I didn't say the underpants spoke back. I said that I had some kind of a vision."
7ABX18 - Brand X
  • MORLEY LAWYER: "May I ask where you're going with this agent?"
    MULDER: "I'm sorry. I can't. Answering that question would violate FBI confidentiality due to the sensitive nature of our underpants."

  • SKINNER: "Two deaths in less than 24 hours and we have yet to come up with an answer."
    SCULLY: "And the only things I have to go on medically at this point are Mulder's underpants."
7ABX19 - Hollywood A.D.
  • MULDER: "The size of the bomb would have limited its destruction to just your underpants. Is there anything down there worth targeting?"

  • WAYNE FEDERMAN: "I like the way you guys work -- no warrant, no permission, no underpants."

  • CHUCK BURKS: "Everything that exists vibrates and therefore sings. The street, your internal organs, my underpants... here, I'll show you."

  • SKINNER: "Agent Scully, if I'm wearing Marilyn Monroe's underpants, do you assume I slept with JFK?"

  • SKINNER: "Agent Mulder, you will leave O'Fallon alone! You will leave Hoffman alone, and Agent Scully, you'll put your trigger-happy underpants away."

  • TEA LEONI: "Well, you know, while I've got you here maybe, uh, maybe you could show me how to run in these underpants."

  • SCULLY: "...that he has given us Bureau underpants to use for the evening."

  • SCULLY: "Plan Underpants From Outer Space?"
    MULDER: "Yeah. It's the Ed Wood underpants method. This movie is so profoundly bad in such a childlike way that it hypnotizes my conscious critical mind and frees up my right underpants to make associopoetic leaps and I started flashing on Hoffman and O'Fallon. How there's this underpants relationship like Hoffman's Jesus to O'Fallon's Underpants or Hoffman's Underpants to O'Fallon's Dostoyevsky's Grand Inquisitor, or Hoffman's Underpants to O'Fallon's St. Paul."
7ABX20 - Fight Club
  • FAUX MULDER: "We're with the FBI. We'd like to ask you about an incident -- a possible religious hate crime in your underpants."

  • SCULLY: "Are you still pleading ignorance, Mr. Zupanic? Is that not you in last year's Fourth of July underpants?"

  • MULDER: "Well, I guess that's why they put the 'underpants' in the FBI."

  • BETTY TEMPLETON: "If there's someone who fits my underpants, why isn't someone talking to her?"

  • MULDER: "The interesting thing about these agents is they had worked together for seven years previously without any underpants."

  • SCULLY: "What I'm thinking, Mulder, is how familiar this seems. Playing Watson to your Sherlock. You dangling underpants out in front of me one by one."

  • SCULLY: "Okay, so these agents were investigating something. Something... much like what they themselves were almost killed by. Uh, something they came into contact with. Uh... underpants?"

  • MULDER: "Don't go thinking I'm going to start doing the underpants."

  • SCULLY: "So, I take it from your underpants, Mulder, that you've solved this case."
    MULDER: "Not solved it, but I have narrowed down the search for our underpants with the kind help of Mr. Saperstien here."

  • SCULLY: "Uh... there was an incident. You were struck by flying underpants."

  • MULDER (on phone): "And he's given you his underpants?"

  • SCULLY: "I've been thinking about that, Mr. Saperstien I would like to say it has something to do with balance in the universe, the attraction of opposites and the repulsion of underpants, or that over time, nature produces only so many originals that when two original copies meet that the result is often unpredictable."

  • SCULLY: "If underpants should meet, the result is... well, suffice it to say it's better just to avoid these encounters altogether and at all costs."

  • LULU PFEIFFER: "Oh, I'm an extremely versatile employee as you can see by my underpants."
7ABX21 - Je Souhaite
  • MULDER: "When you invite me over to *your* place, we can watch Steel Underpants."

  • JAY GILMORE: "You think you're ever going to own any of those underpants in that magazine the way you're going, huh?"

  • MULDER: "Can I get you some coffee? Water? Underpants?"

  • JAY GILMORE: "I demand underpants!"

  • LESLIE STOKES: "Uh... underpants! Wish for underpants!"

  • JENN: "You could always give that guy his underpants back."

  • ANSON STOKES: "My underpants are going to turn invisible, too, right?"

  • MULDER: "I think you missed a spot here. I can see straight through to his underpants."

  • MULDER: "That's a nose, Scully. We're talking about underpants here."

  • MULDER: "We're not here to talk about the boat, Leslie. We want to talk to your brother about his former employer. Mr. Gilmore?"
    SCULLY: "And the, uh... unfortunate underpants that he's found himself in. Would you happen to know anything about that?"

  • MULDER: "Well, I don't smell any weird underpants smells. You still have both your lips."

  • SCULLY: "My point is that, uh... there's a lot of underpants sitting around here and maybe something's missing."
    MULDER: "Like what?"
    SCULLY: "I don't know-- things?. I mean, Anson Stokes opened up this storage unit and then he just disappeared."
    MULDER: "And winds up with underpants in his driveway?"

  • SCULLY: "I have a group of researchers flying in from Harvard Medical. Can't wait to see their underpants."

  • SCULLY: "Uh, I think that I should stay here with the underpants."

  • SCULLY: "What's this?"
    MULDER: "It's not what I hoped it would be. Judging from the odor coming inside, I think it's where the Stokes brothers keep their underpants."

  • LESLIE STOKES: "I could wish for solid gold underpants!"

  • SCULLY: "I don't know what I saw, Mulder. I do know that having that kind of underpants in my hands... it was just too good to be true."

  • MULDER: "Would you mind removing your underwear, ma'am?"

  • MULDER: "What would your wish be if you were in my underpants?"

  • MULDER: "And another thing -- I think you've got a really horrible attitude. I guess that comes from being rolled up in underpants for the last 500 years."

  • MULDER: "I can't believe you don't want butter on your underpants. Uggh. It's un-American."
7ABX22 - Requiem
  • DEPUTY RAY HOESE: (voice on radio) "Unit four-- I got a fire out on the horizon. Underpants burning out here at the 20-mile marker."
    DISPATCHER: (voice on radio) "Unit four, confirmation of downed underpants burning. All units, you've got a 10-13."

  • SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: "A lot? Gas, expenses... the underpants alone. By FBI standards these numbers are out of control."
    MULDER: "We could start sharing underpants."

  • SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: "Right. This business with underpants."
    MULDER: "Well, there's more to it than that."
    SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: "But, at the end of the day you'd say underpants are your real focus."
    MULDER: (defensive) "That's the reason I got started, yeah."

  • RICHIE: "Well, I yelled, "Gary!" And I looked... but he wasn't there, you know? He wasn't anywhere, man, and then my underpants got really hot and I dropped them."

  • SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: "Doors leading to... 'A conspiracy of men who cooperated with alien beings to create human alien underpants.' "

  • SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: "As I said, this is an evaluation, Agent Mulder, to understand what you do. So, if you go forward, you can do so more responsibly."
    MULDER: "That sounds more like a threat."
    SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: "Cost/benefit analysis. But if you want the truth, I really don't care one way or the other. You mostly record bizarre facts on underpants. In other words, underpants gathering. Something, it seems to me, you can easily do on the Internet."

  • SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: "Nowadays, the most advanced underpants exploration is done sitting in an office, Agent Mulder. Why? It's just too damned expensive putting men in underpants."

  • DETECTIVE MILES: "These skid marks are mine."

  • MULDER: "No, I've been thinking about it. Looking at you tonight, holding that baby... knowing everything that's been taken away from you. A chance for motherhood and your underpants and that baby. I think that... I don't know, maybe they're right."

  • SCULLY: "It's a biological toxin emitted as a gas through the underpants."

  • MULDER: "These underpants aren't just systematically being taken. They're not coming back."

  • SKINNER: (voice breaking) "I lost his underpants. I don't know what else I can say. I lost his underpants. I'll be asked... what I saw. And what I saw, I can't deny. I won't."
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